Don't think you have what it takes to compete in a pageant? Think again. Tiza did a little digging and found an extraordinarily wide range of competitions to choose from. That's right. You don't have to be Barbie to win a crown--check out the real world of pageants, from the weird and wondrous to downright wacky. In 2004, China held a Miss Plastic Surgery pageant. The idea came from a previous pageant in which a contestant was disqualified for having had cosmetic surgery. Can't beat them, join them, right? Ms. Pregnant pageant. Yep. Bare your belly bikini style. From the looks of it, we can only guess being in your third trimester is a requirement. The annual Ms. Landmine Pageant, held in the country of Angola, created by Norwegian artist Morten Traavik, celebrates physical imperfection caused by wartime landmine explosions. Tiza applauds this pageant for its humanistic approach to real beauty. Prison Pageants are apparently all the rage all over the world. In Bogota, Columbia, the incarcerated can be crowned Miss Prisoner--if they have what it takes. For some, it means freedom, as the parole board takes into account prison community involvement. Miss Jumbo Queen is the brainchild of an elephant conservation project in Thailand. Though the last Miss Jumbo was crowned in 2005, we're hoping more philanthropies will hop on this grand idea. Every girl dreams of being Miss Worm Gruntin' Queen or Miss Meat Pie, right? Harvest Festival Queens certainly hold the most...interesting titles. Personally, we're rooting for Miss Garlic Girl, 2009. Exotic animals and pumpkins aren't your thing? The pageant world doesn't stop there. How about the Zombie Beauty Pageant. More gore more gorgeous. Not quite feeling up to Miss Universe this year? That's okay. Tiza's found a few alternatives to choose from...choose your platform wisely. |
Fun: May 2009 Archives
"There's a girl at my school who isn't very nice, to say the least. One of my good friends is really pretty and always has the hottest boyfriends. She's really nice too, so you can't get mad at her. The 'mean' girl I can call J. At a dance earlier this year at our school, my group walked into the gym and J immediately came over to my gorgeous friend--I'll call her S--and made fun of her dress. S has dark skin and wore this awesome goldeny yellow gown. J called S a banana. How dumb is that? S just smiled and said thanks. Later on in the night, S won this prize we all voted on. Of course. It was kind of like prom king and queen, but small town style. The principal crowned S with a plastic tiara from the Dollar Store. When she stepped off the cinderblock stage, she walked right up to J and said, 'I guess bananas are in season.' We all nearly fell over laughing. J shut up and really hasn't messed with S since. I can't wait to see what happens at the next dance when we're all seniors." -Amy, The Middle of No Where, OK |
"It's been a few years since prom, but when I think of prom, I immediately think of the boyfriend I had at the time. We'd planned to go together, but hadn't told all of our hippy friends because it wasn't the coolest thing to do with them. Then, he dumped me a few weeks before the dance. I was crushed. I was hanging out with everyone on a front porch, just sitting there feeling sorry for myself. No one else was going to prom, but I really wanted to. It isn't just for preppy kids and cheerleaders, I thought, but for everybody. I had no date now. A beautiful dress I hadn't shown anyone and no date. Then, one of my closer friends who knew what was up with me jumps out of this old wooden rocking chair and grabs my arms, flailing them around like limp spaghetti. She screams, 'Boys and men! Guys of all ages! Sarah has no date to prom! Who will be the lucky guy?!' Or something to that effect. I was petrified. I just put my head between my legs and squeezed my eyes shut. Everyone laughed, in a nice joking way, of course. But one of my guy friends stands up and says he'll take me. Like I'm the last pick for dodge ball and he picked me as a joke for the team. I was mortified. But then everyone seemed to decide prom wasn't such a preppy thing after all and it would be fun to go. So everyone paired up. I half punched my new date in the stomach with a smirk and walked home to try on my dress again, not letting anyone see me smile. Anyway, the day of the prom, he shows up at my doorstep with the group all wearing these tie-dyed retro vintage not typical prom clothes. He's in a lilac-colored tux, with a half-dead corsage and, get this--NO SHOES. I was livid. I felt beautiful for once in my life in this awesome dress. I wasn't about to let anybody ruin it again for me. This was my night. So, I made the limo driver stop at Wal-Mart and we all got out and helped my date pick out the cheapest dress shoes ever. I made him buy purple socks to match his tux. By the end of the night, everyone was happy they went and thanked me for making them go. I said I didn't do anything but get dumped." --Sarah, Denton, TX |
Have a crazy, embarrassing, wonderful or romantic prom story? Tiza wants to hear about it! Share your story. Send us pics! To start off with a lovely story that will make you swoon, or gawk in disbelief, we travel back to prom season 2003... "So I'm dating this super awesome senior. I'm a sophomore, so I feel ultra cool. It's my first prom and I'm going with an upperclassman, so I'm terrified. His friends asked all my friends, so that was cool. I got there in a really beautiful dress--red, slinky with rhinestones. I'm pretty pale so this purplish-red looked good. I did my own hair and borrowed jewelry. Mom bought me gorgeous clear shoes that go with everything. Still, I was nervous. Anyway, he's standing there in his living room decked out in an all-white tux. We look like Christmas together, but I don't care. Once I see him, I can't stop giggling. Anyway, after pictures and dinner, we get back in the limo and my boyfriend says, "Okay, guys, we have to go back to my house." All the girls were like, what? But the guys were quiet, like they knew what was going on. So we get there and he takes me by the hand and leads me to the garage. I'm kinda freaked out, but he opens the door and the whole garage is lit up with Christmas lights, white sheets draped on the wall. He pulls me to the middle of the concrete floor and turns on a CD. My favorite--really cheesy--songs come on. Mariah Carey's "Always Be My Baby", that Bryan Adams song from Robin Hood, and we dance for like 15 minutes. We were in a garage, but it felt like heaven! I was so thrilled and flattered that he'd thought of something so romantic--as an 18 yr. old high schooler. I'm about to graduate college now, and nothing like that has happened since. Yay for prom memories!" |
