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Recently in Pageant Coach Category

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Former Miss South Carolina Teen USA Caitlin Upton may not know about many things -- like wars, or, uh, maps -- BUT, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel, she does at least now know about... how babies are made. The talk show host sent her on a mission to learn about the facts of life -- and it ended, naturally, with Nadya Suleman aka Octomom. Check out the clip here and here

You gotta give Upton a little bit of credit: Unlike one C. Prejean, she has realized that the best way to endear herself to the American public following public disgrace was not to make a sex tape (shocker!), but to make fun of herself. She's good-humored enough in this clip, and presumably the humiliation of being nationally recognized as ignorant taught her something. (Otherwise, why would she bother with this demeaning little "adventure"?) And while I wouldn't say that she won me over, what I take issue with here is actually Jimmy Kimmel. Obviously, instead of sending Upton out to learn about, um, the things she obviously doesn't know (like foreign politics and geography) -- which by the way would have been equally amusing -- Kimmel feels compelled to send her to Babies R Us to learn about ... her body. Because she must be such an idiot that she doesn't know what to do with it! Perhaps a long-held distaste for Kimmel is influencing me here, but I must say I find the whole thing mean-spirited and distasteful. And that is my two cents for the moment! 

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Carrie Prejean continues to be all over the news these days. As if it wasn't enough to get stripped of her crown, or become enmeshed in various scandals over a) gay marriage b) the money she borrowed for breast implants c) her topless picture experiment or d) the  alleged defamation of her character that was someone else's (California's?) fault (...?), now Carrie Prejean is making headlines by talking about how the scandalous topless pictures that she took are a product of, um, our culture. She writes:


"Unfortunately, pornography has become mainstreamed -- it rushes at us through big screens, portable screens; soft-core porn is on mainstream TV cable stations, hard-core porn is just a mouse click away on the internet, and the envelope of what seems acceptable seems to get pushed farther and farther as more and more people are exposed to this material.

The result is that girls grow up in a culture where it is hard to have an innocent, healthy, normal view of themselves, how they should behave, how they should act, and how they should dress."

 "Our bodies are temples of the Lord. We should earn respect and admiration for our hearts, not for showing skin to look sexy ... I have since learned that your outer beauty can only get you so far in life."

It is possible that Carrie Prejean has learned a lesson throughout her various troubled experiences with the press. But, given the great lengths to which she has gone in order to keep her google search numbers high, I am presuming it is a different message than, say, that which mentors and nuns might have hoped for.



Uh oh. Rachel Christie, otherwise known as Miss England, was forced to resign her post (and withdraw from the Miss World competition) this Friday after she reportedly got into a BRAWL -- at a nightclub! -- with another beauty queen. (Sara Jones, aka Miss Manchester.) The fight was apparently over a guy. Girls! Pageantry doesn't really need any more bad press these days. Carrie Prejean is providing plenty to go around. 

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On an equally fascinating note, Christie will now shift her focus to... training for the 2012 Olympics, were she hopes to compete in the heptathlon. Which I had never heard of until today.


More with the Carrie Prejean

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This Carrie Prejean drama just will not end: Apparently, the Miss California pageant is counter-suing the shamed former title-holder (who is suing THEM because she believes that she was dethroned due to her position on gay marriage) because she hasn't paid back the money they loaned her. For a... breast augmentation. Um. Okay. First a breast implants-related injury at Miss Plastic, now this?? I sort of think that if Miss California USA is going to practice such ridiculous policies, they should just deal with the consequences. Also? It does not take a genius to know that "oral agreements" carry basically zero weight. Make a real contract next time you give a 21-year-old 5 grand for fake boobs and expect her to pay you back! Just saying. 

Every detail counts when it comes to entering a beauty pageant. Right down to your rhinestones. Make up and jewelry can make or break your overall appearance onstage. So let's find out how to polish your self to pageant perfection.

With base and powder, match your skin color. You'll feel confident with an even skin tone under the lights. Use a lighter color foundation below the eyes to accentuate your eye color.

On to the eyes. Color can be tricky. Remember that harsh lighting can make you look washed out. Use a few shades darker than normal, daytime wear. This will make your eyes shine from a distance. Gotta wow those judges. False lashes can emphasize the eyes, but make sure they stay in place. Mascara, liner--of course.

Blush should be in the same color family as your skin. If you're super dark, don't wear light pink blush. Bleh. Apply directly on the cheekbone, beginning at the ear and working toward the nose. Dab a little on the forehead and nose. Think about wear the sun hits your face--that's wear blush belongs.

Choose a lip color that isn't too bright so not to make your lips appear thinner. Don't try to match your dress if you're wearing pink or red. No one's filling you in with magic marker here. Lip gloss, and you're set!

Jewelry should be minimal. No necklace needed in most cases. This keeps the attention on your eyes and draws a smooth, flowing line down to your dress. Nobody will count the karats in your rocks. Fake crystal and rhinestones work just fine. Basic, elegant stud earrings will do with an elaborate dress. Keep in mind jewelry should never outshine your smile.

Now that you've entered the perfect pageant, let's start from the top and make sure everything is picture perfect. Beginning with your crowning glory--your hair.

First, when choosing a style, remember that appearance is the first things the judges read. So what do you want your hair to say before you speak? You want to choose a hairstyle that you're comfortable with. Length is important. Too long hair is hard to deal with between rounds and won't hold shape easily. For flowing, perfectly bouncy locks, keep it medium to medium-long in length. If your face shape allows, you can go chin-length. But keep in mind more attention will be drawn to your frame.

Keep your hair out of your face. This is vital. You want everyone to see your smile. Also, keep your dress in mind. Your hairstyle can accentuate or easily class with the shape and overall attitude of your dress. Discuss this with your stylist. Try different styles with your dress on. Take pictures from all angles--portrait and full-length. Lay them out on a table to thoroughly examine which style best fits your frame, face, color, and dress.

If you plan on dying your hair, keep your skin in mind. Don't go overboard on the blonde if you're super tan. No one is Malibu Barbie. If your hair is naturally dark, don't try for platinum. You'll look orange and fake. Play up your natural shades.

Warm/yellow/gold skin: try deep, dark browns and auburns. Highlight with copper or red.

Cool/Blue-red skin: Try intense browns, reds or blondes. Highlight with wheat or honey hues that will warm up your skin.

For red skin: Avoid red dye. Highlight with beige, honey brown or light coffee colors.

Be prepared. A cordless curling iron can whip those crazy curls back in shape when you can't find a plug backstage. Make sure to have a handheld mirror and hairspray handy, as well. You never know how crowded the dressing area will be.

Get a winning style with these hair do's and don'ts and you're sure to hit the stage with confidence.

Seems obvious, but when trying on dresses, many forget to ask a key question: can you walk in your dress? No need to tug at or trip over that fabulous fabric. Your evening plans could determine what kind of dress would be best for how you'll be moving and shaking.

For pageants, the more glam the merrier. You'll have tons of time to practice walking in your gown, so bring on the layers and long trains. But for prom, a dress that lets you let loose is the best choice.

A long, tight dress will obviously inhibit movement, so consider a slit to give your self some leg room. Otherwise, save the jumping jacks for the after party.

If you're wearing a short dress, make sure it doesn't ride up when you walk. You'll want your arms free for flailing on the dance floor. Your legs will be free to move about as they please, but consider dress length when bending over. That's something you'll want to check on in the safety of your bathroom mirror.

Long trains needs lots of love. Of course you don't want a dirty dress, so be prepared to carry your train everywhere you go. For an active evening like prom, a long train runs the risk of getting trampled on and may not be the best dress choice for a lively occasion.

Remember, if you're not comfortable, you won't have a good time, no matter how hot you look standing still.

When ordering online, remember to give yourself time for alterations just in case a few inches need to be trimmed away to let you glide in your gown and dazzle beneath those disco balls. Or chandeliers--wherever the night may take you.

About this Archive

This page is a archive of recent entries in the Pageant Coach category.

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